Jokes and Tweets
If you can afford fast food you can afford to be #vegan.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) March 5, 2012
You do not “love animals” if you eat them. You do not “love animals” if you shoot them. I thought this was obvious. #NotOnEarth
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) March 1, 2012
Unlike humans, true meat-eating animals need neither cook away salmonella and E. coli nor sterilize their cutting tools.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) February 12, 2012
What you eat is a “personal choice” until you impose that choice on others by eating them, their milk and their eggs.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) February 10, 2012
We are born affectionate and loving. Beware anyone who tries to convince you to stop caring about another living being.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) January 29, 2012
Just because you crave something doesn’t mean there’s a deep biological need going unfulfilled. Example: I “crave” cupcakes.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) January 25, 2012
We have predator teeth?Really?Lions don’t need steak knives, braces or dentures.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) January 18, 2012
We can cite every supposed deep thinker in the universe, but when we kill innocent beings for taste, we’re idiots.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) January 6, 2012
We are not required to eat meat to thrive. “I eat what I kill” justifies exactly as much as saying, “I spend what I steal.”
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) December 20, 2011
This Christmas season, give the gift of life to a stranger and refuse to eat them, wear them, or drink their milk. Go #vegan!
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) December 8, 2011
Every meal you eat without animal products is a positive change you’ve made in the world.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) November 30, 2011
Decreeing another should die, pull carts, be shaved or milked is being judgmental. Peaceful disagreement is not. Go #vegan.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) November 17, 2011
Tomorrow is 11/11/11 and tomorrow about 158,904,109 (that’s 158 MILLION) animals will be killed worldwide. Go #vegan.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) November 11, 2011
The usual half-baked logic goes: Plants *may* feel pain, so let’s kill 20x of them to feed a cow, who we kill. #stupid
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) October 26, 2011
Life is too short to be an asshole to animals by eating them.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) October 26, 2011
Everyone who uses the “plants feel pain, too!” argument needs to go down to their grocery and shout it in the vegetable aisle.
— Jason Dunn (@Veganism) February 14, 2012
Old Ones
Still trying to find these in my tweet history and convert them to the fancy new embedded style:
| Tweet | Knock knock! "Who’s there?" A chicken! "A chicken who?" A chicken who is so glad you stopped calling her an "it." |
| Tweet | Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the vegan. |
| Tweet | What do you call bite-sized sausage snacks? Feces Pieces. |
| Tweet | What is female, has four legs, moos, eats grass and provides milk suitable for humans? Nothing. |
| Tweet | Someone should stuff a hot veggie burger and some fries in a bag and sell it as a Happier Meal. |
| Tweet | Vegan girls won’t fish, even for compliments. |
| Tweet | Eating hot dogs is just one factory away from giving a rim job to a corpse. |
| Tweet | How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb? Ten. One to do it and nine to convince people it really is that easy. |
| Tweet | You "didn’t claw your way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables?" True. You don’t even have claws. Go eat a banana. |
| Tweet | Humans are among the worst animals as hunters. Real hunters do it naked, hungry and weaponless. |